The Count's Summer Movie Reviews.

This Summer has been one of the better Summers for movies in awhile. With the exception of a few bad apples (Speed Racer, Wanted) I feel the quality of films has gone up somewhat. I feel since I post a lot of movie related stuff on here, it's only fair, I give my honest opinion about cinema through jaded criticism. The scores are out of 10 possible points. I'll try and be as spoiler free as possible and short and concise in my reviews. Just a heads up though, if you haven't seen the movie and still want too, you might want to skip to the next critique.



Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skulls - 6.5/10

I guess I'll start off with Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Retarded Alien Crystals. I just want to say first off this movie was such a huge let down and disappointment. Even though the ending was pretty much the worst, I did find the middle to be entertaining. The beginning took way too long and the CG gophers in the opening were kind of lame. It's ironic Lucas' special effects looked way more believable in the '70's when technology wasn't even up to par with where it is now. A lot of people hated on the monkey scene, but it really didn't bother me that much. What bothered me the most was the stupid nuclear bomb and the 50's style lead fridge that would have cost even Jesus Christ his life. I mean come on, that was the best idea they could come up with? Did Spielberg even pick up the script or did he just collect his paychecks? And what was up with Karen Allen looking so haggard? She did not age well at all. Because of the horrible script, Cate Blanchett's fupa, the ending, and the horrible idea of showing some stupid CG alien, I am docking some major points. However, because Harrison Ford is still pretty sweet, they filmed one of the scenes in Fresno, and Larry Dias worked on the film, I will give Indy 4 a 6.5 out of 10. All in all, worth it if you want to waste two hours of your life.



Son of Rambow - 8.7/10

I really enjoyed this movie a lot. It had a solid story, was well written and had some memorable performances. Rebellious hellion, Lee Carter played by Will Poulter really was a friend I always wanted to have when I was younger. I can only imagine the kind of trouble I would have go into. I really can't find too much that I didn't like about this film. It was the total opposite of how I felt about Indiana Jones. I highly recommend this and hope some of you guys do end up seeing it. Garth Jennings from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy wrote and directed this as well. If you have no idea what the film is about, check out the trailer HERE. I feel Son of Rambow earned a solid 8.7 out of 10.



The Strangers - 7.0/10

You know, when I first saw the trailer for this I was really excited about the potential. I thought the premise was cool and really felt the director could make this a more memorable scary movie. After seeing it, I had mixed feelings. Sure I got spooked from the moments when the bad guy with the weird burlap mask popped out, but I feel the ending could have been better and a little more thought out. However, the ending obviously sets itself up for a sequel, so I can understand why they went with that scenario. For being a thriller/horror movie there wasn't really that much blood in my opinion. Don't get me wrong, there are some bloody parts, but I feel the tension they created with the cinematography and music made the movie scarier than the actual blood and guts. The best shocking moment for me was when I found out Dennis from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia was in it. Other than that it was an average movie that's on par with something like Vacancy, but doesn't take place in a hotel.



WALL-E - 8.5/10

WALL-E was probably the first kids movie I have seen in a theater in very long time and I realized why I never go to them anymore. I absolutely hate little kids in movie theaters. I know they are too young to realize they are being annoying by asking a million questions and making a ton of noise, but come on parents of the world. Prep your kid before you take them to the movies. And if you can't get a babysitter, save the 15 bucks and wait for it to come out on DVD. I guess this is basically my fault for seeing this movie in a theater, but it still wasn't bad. Pixar doesn't really make too many bad movies and this was another solid hit. What I thought was exceptionally cool was that the main character didn't really have substantial dialogue. His various robotic sounds and gestures, were enough to let you know exactly what he was thinking and feeling. Genius or laziness?



Iron Man - 9.3/10

Iron Man was definitely one of my favorite films so far this year, let alone Summer. Robert Downey, Jr. couldn't have done a better job along with Jon Favreau. The action scenes were well executed and I feel that every character was casted pretty much on point. Easily one of the best comic book movies ever made. Not necessarily as good as the Batman's (sans Schumacher), but it's up there. I am excited to see the sequel when it comes out in 2010. Hopefully it doesn't disappoint. It really shouldn't because it's practically the same people involved as this one. If for some reason, you haven't seen this, definitely check it out. It should be coming to DVD at the end of September. Random side not, Tom Morello of Rage Against The Machine, played guitar for some of the music.



You Don't Mess With The Zohan - 7.0/10

So first off, I didn't spend money on this. I snuck in after seeing Iron Man cause Helen was in Atlanta and I had nothing better to do. I went into the movie thinking it was going to be pretty shitty and it actually wasn't. I actually caught myself laughing pretty hard at certain parts. Especially at the over the top stereotypical jokes they did. The dipping of everything in hummus, the fact that the electronic store was always having a going out of business sale, the salesmen saying that the dvd player had Sony guts instead of some generic company, the disco, disco good, good jokes, and more. I guess since my expectations were so low, even if the movie did suck it wouldn't have mattered. I can honestly say I had more fun watching this then Indiana Jones. It's no where near as good as Happy Gilmore, but it does have it's moments and brainless dick jokes. Maybe worth checking out on a random rainy day or lazy Sunday.



The Wackness - 8.9/10

This is another film that I consider to be one of my favorites of the year so far. This movie had pretty much everything I want in a good film. Great writing that was both funny and intelligent, a great story, great performances (Josh Peck and Ben Kingsley), an excellent soundtrack (the best Hip Hop from 1994), and provocative cinematography with a solid look and feel. I highly recommend seeing this at the Landmark on Pico if you live in LA. Their leather couches are the best thing since coconut oil was added to the popcorn.



If you've seen any of these films, please fill free to post how you felt about them in the comments section. Also, for those that never saw the Choke red band trailer when it first came out, you can check it out HERE, it's back up. Stay tuned for my thoughts on Pineapple Express and The Dark Knight.